I purposefully didn’t look up the many definitions of a depression, or the discussions about the ways and means of it. I want to look at it from the vantage point of someone affected by its consequences. I miss Robin Williams. I feel a sense of loss in my life, in my room, in my shoes, in my head, but more than that a sense of hopelessness that I wasn’t personally able to help this man. I didn’t even know him. I never met him. But felt close to him through his many characters, voices, jokes, etc. like everyone else on the planet. He made me laugh. He made me think, he provided me with an intellectual conversation I could follow. He kept me on my toes. But inside, he was sad and in pain. That’s what hurts the most right now, knowing that this funny guy felt so alone in the universe, even with his friends and family and fans the world over telling him how wonderful he was to them.
After his death, I remember reading that someone had posted a line from the Aladdin movie, “You’re free now Genie.” This brought tears to my eyes, because I thought it was so true. The Genie even though he had ultimate power was a slave to whoever owned the lamp, until Aladdin used his last wish to set him free. I saw Robin Williams as that great of a spirit, but trapped by his celebrity, by his physical limitations, by his personal pains. Perhaps a great big lovable soul like that did need to be set free from its chains—just to set the universe right again. But do you have the right to be your own trigger man, especially when so many are taken from us by the thoughtless actions of others? I don’t know. It still hurts. But the conversation is out there now.
Would we rather have Robin Williams here with us now or not? I know I still wish he were here. I guess that’s all I can say. Do we even have the right to ask that kind of question when so many others are feeling that same kind of pain and need our help, our understanding, and our best care in this world today? Life is for the living. I say we help those we can right now, any way we can. Be grateful we had Robin Williams to hang out with for a while. He was a funny, charming, talented guy. Now let’s get on with the business at hand.